Some people are worried that the frenulum — which is the short band of tissue that connects the foreskin to the head of an uncircumcised penis — can tear during first-time penetration. This part of the penis is fragile. A person may tear it after having had sex many times or never — the frenulum can tear during nonsexual activities, such as riding a bike.
A torn frenulum can be painful and cause a small amount of bleeding, but this injury will heal on its own, just like any other minor cut or tear. If this happens, just carefully wash the area and gently pat it dry with a clean towel.
Avoid activities that could cause the wound to open again until it has healed. However, many people take their time in deciding when — or even if — they want to become sexually active. There is no real right or wrong time to become sexually active. The right time is when it feels right for you — that is, when you feel an enthusiastic desire to explore that part of yourself.
And if you feel like starting your sex life, but then decide you want to abstain from one, several, or all types of sexual activity for a while — or forever — that is also normal. Every time a person has sexual contact without using barrier contraception — such as condoms — there is a chance they can develop a sexually transmitted infection STI.
This includes their first time. However, if neither person has had sexual contact with anyone else before, neither person will have an STI.
Some STIs produce no symptoms, so a person may not know if they have one. To be sure, anyone who has had unprotected sexual contact before — including oral sex or anal sex — should have a sexual health screening.
When it comes to preventing STIs, the best options involve physical barriers, such as female or male condoms, or dental dams for oral sex. People can get condoms from their healthcare provider or drugstores, or they can choose between types online. Most brands are safe to use.
Learn about the safest condoms and tips for their use here , and learn how to choose the right condom size here. Learn about the most common STIs and how to identify them here. There are rumors that women cannot get pregnant when they lose their virginity, but this is not true. If you do not use contraception, penis-in-vagina sex carries a risk of pregnancy, even the first time. Some options for avoiding pregnancy include using male or female condoms, taking contraceptive pills , receiving a regular contraceptive shot , and having a doctor insert an intrauterine device, or IUD.
If one partner is unsure whether they would like to have sex, or if they change their mind during sex, they should feel able to express this and to stop without any repercussions.
For an enjoyable first-time experience, partners should feel safe, both emotionally and physically. If you feel pressured into doing more than you want, it is not going to lead to safe, enjoyable sex.
If you are being coerced into having sex, tell this to someone you trust. People based in the U. People sometimes feel that losing their virginity will be a life-changing experience. There is no right or wrong reaction to having sex for the first time. How you feel could depend on the expectations that you had beforehand or on your personality, for example. For example, the Guttmacher Institute found that the average age at which Americans first have sex is Other data shows that millennials and Gen Z are losing their virginities later : one study found that people born in the s and s were more likely to have had zero sexual partners at age 18 than previous generations.
Next, try not to compare yourself to others. Being a virgin in college isn't unusual — and it isn't anything to be embarrassed about, either. Plenty of your classmates have never had sex , either, even if they don't talk about it. And even if being a virgin in college was rare, there's nothing wrong with having a different type of sexual experience than someone else — no two people are the same, and that includes their sex lives.
This leads us to believe that Americans need some serious educating when it comes to consent. Random, right? They report frequent smokers have sex nearly two years earlier than infrequent smokers and nonsmokers. Females who smoke 2 or more cigarettes a day lost their virginity at an average age of And there you have it. Overall, this study suggests that schools are severely under-educating their students about sex, and that parents are not picking up the slack at home. In some cases that means schools offer optional sex-ed classes that require permission slips from parents, but in other cases it means there are no sex-ed classes offered at all.
Not only is sex ed necessary for understanding basic human reproduction, but sex ed is responsible for teaching people from a young age that consent is the difference sex and rape. This made her distrust men. Stacy says her mother taught her that sex is special a common reason people wait and she kind of believed it. Later she realized that the emotional trauma she faced growing up caused her to keep her distance from men, rather than the belief that sex was special.
She wishes she had dealt with this a long time ago, before becoming too old to have kids. Stacy lost her virginity to a guy she met on the casual encounters page of Craigslist, who she said was very accommodating to her inexperience.
In fact, she still has sex with him sometimes and said she has an incredible sex life. Aline Zoldbrod, a sex therapist in Boston, says the environment you grew up in can make all the difference in how you approach sex. The ideal environment, according to Zoldbrod, is a happy home where sexual curiosity is encouraged, questions about sex are answered age-appropriately, and privacy and independence are not only respected but also cultivated. Other environments, such as homes where sex is never talked about or where parents are not openly affectionate with each other, can lead to issues.
A University of Texas at Austin study showed that survey respondents who lost their virginity at 20 or older reported having more satisfying romantic relationships than respondents who lost their virginity at younger than After telling me how madly in love he is with his girlfriend and how sex has drawn them much closer, McDorman stands up to leave the coffee shop.
But first, he brings our conversation full circle. Skip to content Site Navigation The Atlantic. Popular Latest.
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